Game addict

I finished playing  Steppenwolf: The X-Creatures Project for two days. But I didnt like the ending. There was no closure between Allen and Meg but I do really love the adventures and the thrill. Steppenwolf has six chapters with four episodes each. The episodes are all mind boggling. I couldnt finish some of the episodes without the help of a walkthrough. So thanks to the geeks specially to the descriptive walkthrough from angelfire and Mandi’s weird web page, that’s what the author calls his page.

There were episodes where I keep on dying and it took me an hour to finish. I’m done playing 24 The game too in PS2. It was fun playing it. It was really scary too. Well for me it was scary the first time I played it because I’m a girl. i wish I can play more strategy games so I can solve puzzles and stretch my brain. 

I told my brother i’m gonna buy him PS3 when I already have lots of money because that kind of thing shouldnt be the priority especially during economic crisis. Maybe when I’m filthy rich, I could not only but PS3 but an XBOX or a Wii and I’ll buy all the games I want. Maybe that’s why I have no money because God knows I’m not gonna use it in a wise way.

Tina Fey

I have hundreds of reasons why I love love love Tina Fey. I just discovered about her recently and I thought Oh God, I wish I could be like her. I do really wish I can  be like her. Every woman dreams of having wit, talent, beauty, body and brain. She’s got all that.

When I want to laugh so hard, I’ll just watch her on SNL and I’ll have the biggest laugh in the house the whole day. People who hate her are just envy.

I’ll definitely buy 30 rock on DVD and wear the glasses. lol.

But are you sure this is Tina Fey?

Look at her now!

Reprogram

I do wish that life has system restore or something like a “save function”.When one thing goes wrong, I dont have to repeat the whole process over again or I can restore my life to its best performance if I happen to make a harmful change.

But life is short to make a damaging risk and to waste.Time does not run backward nor does it run slow. It often leaves you behind before you know. Y’know sometimes I couldnt catch up and all that comes to my mind is to wish the irrational or the illogical.

No Title

Jogging with your family is highly motivating. I jogged today with my father and with the 2 of my siblings. Afterwards, we ate and as soon as we got home, I took a nap. I woke up again to watch the Oscars and almost all of the people I bet won. Kate Winslet won the best actress award and she deserves it eversince. 

Well, i just tried to blog right now but I feel pretty tired. Hope I can have I better post this week. It’s 11:45 pm here now.

Empty

How do the people I know can get for themselves what exactly I want to get for myself? Is there a formula? How do they do that? I’m greater than some of them but why can’t I get want I want for myself. Sometimes when I see them having the life I want, I come to ask why cant I have it? 

I think the best solution to that is to leave myself empty and construct myself again. Maybe I know the answer but it’s just to hard to comprehend that it really is.

We all Fall

Question: Did I want to pass the board exam just because of humiliation if I will not? After exposing myself today as I was attending the bible study and going to a birthday party, some people started to ask me how was my exam. Well, I told them I failed. It wasnt hard to say that. I was trying to avoid that question. I WAS.  I feel numb and I just dont care now.

But as my relation with God progresses, I learned to think that it’s not how many times we fall, it’s how many times we get up. Failure lessens our self esteem. I used to think that I was greater than anybody. I knew a lot more than anybody. Then suddenly, I woke up and thought I also fail. I’ve told many times how I failed within. But failure in the eye of the world is a an inescapable failure. I suddenly told myself that I should not speak to my siblings or my father like a Ms.-know-it-all. I think I know a lot but maybe I should learn to keep quiet eventhough I am knowledgeable of what they can’t apprehend. Should I?

Everytime I want to share my knowledge, a thought suddenly gets inside my mind ” I failed”. I know it’s normal to be conscious with what we are suppose to say or do and I’m glad that by being conscious, we can change what we find inappropriate and deleterious in our selves.

We All Fall lyrics

by Superchick

We all fall
Sometimes
We all let ourselves down
Sometimes there’s nothing left but to live with what’s been done
And know you’re not the only one
Who falls
We all fail
Sometimes
We all let someone down
Sometimes there’s thing left but to promise to ourselves
That next time we won’t be the one
To fail
I want to tell you you can go on
That beginnings come from ends
I still believe in you
And so does God
He’s the one who still believes in those who fail
He’s the one who still believes in us who fall…

I Jogged Today

I went jogging today with my brother C and my sister L. My sister woke me up. I put on my nike shoes and my jogging pants. We went to the park and took a walk and then we went to the breakwater to witness the sunrise but It was too early so we decided to walk and jog a lil to the end of the breakwater. It was a very fresh morning. The lake was calm and the surrounding was peaceful. There were birds that flocked together. Before we reached the end of the breakwater, we met my father’s friends along the way. The 50’s people. ha ha ha. 

Finally we reached the end of the breakwater and we saw the river, well rivers always flow to the sea. Some people were crossing the river with their motorcycles in the raft. It was cool, really cool seeing people and talking to them. It gave me a new perspective in life. My purpose in jogging was just to forget failures and motivate myself as I jog but I was not only able to forget failures but I saw a new perspective in life. I was tired because I wasnt jogging before so I had to adjust  my body. When we decided to go back home, we took the road instead of going back through the breakwater. It was fun. It was tiring but it was fun.  Oh I can tell, Jogging with your family is highly motivational.

Next saturday we will be doing it again. Someday I’ll take pics of those wonderful sceneries.

Oh I forgot, today we went to the east, next saturday, we’ll go west.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

I am full of regrets right now. I looked for the result of the board exam and my name was not on the list of board passers. I felt bad. 

I feel I’m losing my time on earth because I’ll be taking another exam maybe this year or next year, I’ll be spending time on review and spending big some of money again. I know this is all my fault. If only I did the right things when I was still having our review. What I did then was just to waste money, time and the opportunity to learn more. I told in some of my blogs that I am confident that I will pass and I’m never gonna lose hope. But I FAILED. I know this is the consequence. I know I have to learn something. I’m not mad at God. He just taught me a lesson. From now on, I will never waste time and the next time I’ll take the board exam, I’ll make sure I’ll pass.

I’m still thankful to God that I have a supportive family. They were not mad at me. My father told me never to lose hope, this is an experience I have to go through to learn in life. And because my father told me that it’s alright, I’m not that upset anymore. 

I told in one of my blog that I will pass the board exam for the mere reason that I have never failed. But I failed. Although I’ve been through a lot of difficulties, I always win, well if not win, atleast I can still manage to make things better for me. 

I dont want to see this year as a bad one. I didnt get the job I wanted, I failed the board exam. The first two months are horrible. I want to feel powerful again. I want to see this year as the year to learn, to set things right, to start a new prosperous life. Yes, that’s it! . This year is the year to learn. The previous years were all about being able to feel powerful sometimes, escape from the reality and be happy whatever. The previous years were all about   being unable to grow and rolling the die and see what I can get.

 Time does not run backwards        

         nor does it run slow

It often leaves you behind before you know.

And because everything happens for a reason, I must never lose hope.

After all, you cant always get what you want.

 

My Favorite Online Games

 

I’ve been playing Kudos Rock Legend’s free trial several times. 

Here’s the ten reasons why I love playing it:

1. i love the idea of being a rock star
2. hiring band members
3. buying stuffs for the band
4. book gigs
5. compose songs
6. make an album
7. raise your fame
8. motivate the band members so they wont quit
9. attend interviews ( radio, television, pictorials)
10. good graphics but i think It still need improvements

Another online game I love is Youda camper.

Five reasons why I love playing it:

1. not much music exept the sound of the disco and bar at night and kids laughing, construction sound and cars arriving 
2. customize the whole campsite
3. advertise the campsite
4. good graphics
5. very addictive

Mind Over Matter

I tried to sleep a while ago but something happened. I couldnt sleep. I experienced myoclonic jerks everytime I was about to fall asleep. I dont know if it was really a reaction of the body to some fear or something unknown in my surrounding that did it to me. My right leg suddenly moved out of my control just before I was completely going to fall asleep. I read the bible, from the Revelations, to some of Luke and I dont know. All I know is that I felt calm and secured whenever I read it but as I tried to sleep , there it goes again.

Two nights before, I read about some serial killers after playing geeks or serial killers. I learned about , John Christie and  Andrei Chikatilo. It was so scary to know both of them. Yesterday, I watched discovery channel’s Everything you need to know and the topic was all about demonic possesions, existence of ghost, zombies, poltergeist and reincarnation and although there were many testimonials about all of th0se, I still couldnt believe in the existence of any evil beings that are unseen.

Maybe our beliefs tell our fate. Our life depends on what we believe in. The parents of a child in Sri Lanka believe that their son is a product of reincarnation because the child tells them that they are not his parents and he act different. I thought  maybe, the child has psychosis because as you look at them, they arel emaciated and poor. Maybe their condition triggers mental illness. 

I believe those are just mental illnesses unless they posses supernatural powers that could destroy everything in a snap of their hands. 

In the year 2000, lots of students in our national high school in our town were possesed by demons. I dont know what to call that. Our house is just at the back of the National High School. Our house is just separated from that school by a wall. Our house is surrounded by trees with few neighbors around. I remember when I was young when I was so scared by supernatural beings that roam anywhere. I was having hallucination i think, not a visual hallucination but auditory or tactile but now I believe that all my hallucinations were caused by extreme fear. Let’s go back to the high school exorcism. I believe when one student became possesed, mass hysteria started. Other students experienced the same symptoms that the possesed one was experiencing. It was a mass hysteria! I hope I’m not mistaken but it’s a mass hysteria. 

We are controlled by our fears and beliefs. We experience things base on what we believe. Should we let ourselves be covered with fear and our wrong beliefs and be continually haunted by it?

God gave us the most powerful part of our body to nourish and flourish with knowledge. He gave us knowledge to differentiate the right reason from the wrong one. Why cant we let our mind work and succeed all from outside and inside our body?