Goodbye

Does anyone like goodbyes? I dont like it. I’m not comfortable with it. I dont like to see tears and last words and ugh!. Someone in the family who is important to me left today. I did not visit her in her house before she go because she reminds me of my mother the second time my mother left to work abroad. And didnt I mention that I do not know why I was crying secretly several times before this day comes?yea, and until now I’m crying while typing this. Didnt I mention that I want to write her a letter but I feel that she will not like it and it’s hard to open up because we’re not close? I feel sad feeling I may not be able to see her again. 

She doesnt know that I care and I love her. She doesnt know that I feel sad when she cry and I’m happy when I see her happy.  I’ve seen her tears a hundreds times and I feel for her but I’m not affectionate. I cannot show my emotions. She doesnt even know that when she came here one night and late at night I heard her crying, she was in bed with us, I felt I wanted to console her but I did nothing. I just listened and pretend that I was sleeping. Until now I regret that I didnt hug her on that day. Everytime I remember it, I cry. 

I have this one question in my mind. How could you feel this way for someone who is not close to you? Of all the people who left me, she is the only one who makes me want to write like this. But there’s only one thing I know, she’s one of the people who’ve touched my life in many different ways and I love her with no reservation. 

Oh yeah, I’ve witnessed how the world was against her but she remains strong. The world left her heart wounded but she faced this world with hope and faith.

So yeah, tell to someone that you love just what you’re thinkin of, if tomorrow never comes.(it’s a song but it’s a lesson).